Striped Stockings
by anacsadder
Summary: Wario is grumpy after work. WARNING: Plotless Wa fluff.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Started this around the same time as Stray Treasure. Got stuck when I reached the dialogue. Didn't think I'd actually manage to finish it. It's short, but sweet. Hopefully this is the last of the Wa fluff my muse wants to kick out…**

Waluigi was on the floor, curled around a pillow, in nothing but boy shorts and a t-shirt. And the striped socks. The purple and black ones that went about halfway up his thighs. Wario wasn't sure if he wanted to thank Mona for giving Waluigi those socks or scorn her. Before he'd started wearing those stupid things around the house all the time, Wario hadn't noticed the peculiar femininity of those long, thin legs. Actually, Wario had noticed on some level, but having that feature rubbed in his face every time he came home was very distracting.

Waluigi waxed, or shaved, or whatever the hell it was he did. Not a lot of people knew that. His skin was smooth underneath all of that tight clothing. He said it made everything fit more comfortably. Wario figured it would be simpler just to wear clothing that didn't fit like a second skin, but that logic only seemed to perplex his strange roommate.

"What the heck are you watching?" Wario asked as he kicked off his shoes in the middle of the floor.

Waluigi rolled onto his back to look at him. The ill-fitting shirt rode up around his midriff. "Diamond City stock exchange."

"Why?" Wario asked. It wasn't a channel Waluigi ever sought out by himself. Hell, he even complained when Wario watched the news.

"The remote is missing." Waluigi sat up and stretched, arching his back with all the liquidity of a groggy cat.

"Did you check the couch?" Wario looked at the piece of furniture for the first time since entering the room—the stockings had that effect on him. The cushions sat at haphazard angles to each other. One was flipped up on end. That answered his question, which was good because Waluigi didn't bother.

"I had to put dinner in the fridge. I thought you were gonna be home four hours ago," Waluigi said, looking faintly disappointed.

"Ashley turned her games in late. Took me three hours to make sure they were ready to ship." Wario cracked his neck. "If those kids didn't work so cheap, I'd fire all of 'em." He tossed his riding jacket over the back of a chair before righting the couch cushions.

By the time he finished, Waluigi was perched on the arm of the sofa eye him intensely. "So bad day, then."

"Eh." He yawned as he flopped face down on the couch. He felt Waluigi skitter up his legs and stop, straddling his hips. Then he felt nimble fingers kneading at his neck and shoulders. Wario let out a contented growl as he folded his arms under his forehead. The magic digits melted all the little agonies of the day into warm jelly.

His peripheral vision picked out a purple and black striped knee and part of a thigh. He smirked to himself. Relaxed like this, he decided that maybe those striped stockings were the perfect thing to come home to.


	2. Thunder

The flash of light against his closed eyelids woke him instinctively. His mind wasn't even sure why he was awake until a clamorous bang rattled his ear drums. Waluigi sat bolt upright in bed. Another flash lit up his curtains. He barely pulled the covers over his head before another peel of thunder rattled his room. He hated thunderstorms. They called to mind soggy nights huddled in alleyways while the wind and rain shredded his world to ribbons.

The time between the flashes and the booms told him the storm would be right on top of him soon. As the next bolt lit up his room, he scrambled out of bed and sprinted across the floor. In his panic he tripped on a tennis racket he'd left out. He curled into a ball with his arms over his ears as another peel of thunder punctuated his fall. Waluigi crawled the last foot or so to his door and stumbled into the hallway.

The large window at the end of the hall displayed more of the stormy apocalypse outside than the scrawny man cared to see. Howling wind forced the trees to bow and sway dangerously in the driving rain. He crouched low and pressed himself against the wall as the next bang hit. Part of Waluigi was sure the house couldn't take the concussive force much longer. It would rattle into a pile of rubble.

He bolted the rest of the way to Wario's room as soon as the most recent thunder clap settled. Waluigi pried the door open and slipped through. "Wario…?" He whispered sheepishly, almost apologetically.

Wario was already awake, watching. When his roommate appeared he said, "Just come on."

Waluigi didn't need to be asked twice. He dove under the covers at the foot of the bed and half crawled, half squirmed his way into the open spot next to the beefier man. There he curled into a ball and burrowed up against Wario's stomach. He felt much safer next to the heftier, more solid form. If the roof _did_ blow apart, Wario wouldn't let him go anywhere.

"You know this house is made of stone, right?" Wario asked the lump next to him. "Hundreds of tons of it. A little wind isn't going to throw it across the kingdom."

The lump just burrowed closer and shuddered.

"You need ear plugs," Wario yawned.

Waluigi shook his head. "I'd still feel it."

"You only think you feel it because you hear it," Wario sighed.

Waluigi peaked up at him. It wasn't angle Wario saw often. "Why can't I just sleep on the foot of your bed? It would be so much easier."

"Because you're a grown-ass man and you're being ridiculous." It was his default response to a lot of the things Waluigi did or said. Wario was too tired to be really exasperated, though.

Waluigi pouted and blinked as pathetically as he could. "But…"

"You're not a damn cat. You gotta sleep in your own bed like a normal-"

As if to directly protest this point, Waluigi rubbed his face and head against Wario's chest and chin. "Please?"

Wario pressed his lips together and tried to ignore the plaintive nuzzling, but in the end he only had one response. "All right, all right, you can stay. If I wake up 'cause you're draped all over me again, I'm kicking you out."

Waluigi grinned and nodded. Wario gave him a much curter nod and then closed his eyes. The thin man rolled over, letting the gravely rumble of Wario's breathing distract him from the storm. A few minutes later he felt an arm almost as thick as his waist drape across him and tighten. A slow smirk crept across his lips. "You like sleeping with me," Waluigi whispered in a singsong voice.

Wario's exasperated sigh puffed against the back of the narrow neck. "Shaddup."

Waluigi closed his eyes, but the satisfied smile remained.


End file.
